...and I did it! I learned the "Thriller" dance!!!!
I'm going to post my video--in a second--but this part, it turns out, is even scarier than learning the dance. Eeek! Or maybe that's to be expected? The posting is the "dancing in public" part, I guess.
Before I post the vid, a few disclaimers:
--unlike E. Lockhart and many other fabulosos (I've seen John Green and M.T. Anderson cut the rug quite dashingly), I am NOT a dancer. I think my hips are built differently than other people's. Like, with glue.
--I ended up having to hire a PROFESSIONAL THRILLER TRAINER in order to learn the dang thing. Curse zombie arms!!!! They were the death of me. (Though I did spring back to life. Sort of. I mean, I'm still breathing and all.)
--since I needed to be beautiful for my film premier, I went to see my lovely Turkish hairstylist, Kazim, who told me I simply HAD to let him "thread" my eyebrows. And since I always say "yes" to Kazim (and pretty much anyone else), I let him. So there was that trauma going on, too. Because he also then "threaded" (read, plucked, but with thread, and it was kinda cool but more freaky) my MUSTACHE which I did not know I had, and also some nose hairs. Um, that was a sensory experience I can't even begin to describe. So if I look oddly...pained about the eyebrow, mouth, and nose area, that is why. Or it could be the pain of dancing. Or trying to dance.
--BUT I DID IT!!!!! I DID THE DANG DANCE!!!! And I am exhilarated, in spite of (on top of?) my eyebrow/upper lip/nose pain and utter exhaustion.
I can't hold off posting any longer, as I'm off to Texas tomorrow for the Texas Book Festival. All of y'all Texans, please come! Especially as I've been warned that HECKLERS may attend my session and tell me I'm a bad, bad girl for writing ttyl. Aaaargh.
Maybe if they watch the vid they'll realize how utterly harmless I am?
So, um, okay. Here goes. Be kind!!!!
Let it be known, on this 27th day of October, 2008, that I challenge the following 13 authors to a Halloween Scare-A-Thon:
M.T. Anderson
Holly Black
Libba Bray
Meg Cabot
Cassandra Clare
Melissa De La Cruz
John Green
Shannon Hale
Maureen Johnson
Stephenie Meyer
Kirsten Miller
Sarah Mlynowski
Scott Westerfeld
Whom are they to scare?
Themselves.
Why?
Because.
And also to demonstrate un-wimpiness to me and the world.
And also for my entertainment.
What does that mean, to scare themselves?
To do something so far out of their comfort level that it makes their stomachs twist. To do something they would never do on their own, were they not
Am I going to do it, too?
Der! Of course! Can’t stay in the kitchen if you can’t take the heat, right?
Also, even though I am a HUGE wimp, I’m always up for a dare.
And also it will be FUN.
Well, fiiiiiine, Little Miss Stay in the Kitchen, how do you propose to scare yourself?
Like this:
I hereby pledge to learn the “Thriller” dance between now and Halloween, and to post a video of myself doing this dance on YouTube.
This is more than scary.
This is terrifying.
Here’s why:
I was scarred for life in the 7th grade when my P.E. teacher, Miss Swanson, made us do the “Thriller” dance during our unit on aerobics (???), because I was THE ONE GIRL IN THE ENTIRE GRADE WHO COULDN’T DO IT. Even Nanette Printz could do it, and she was in a body cast at the time. (Not a full body cast, but her entire upper torso was immobilized, all right?) And though I have had many delightful P.E. teachers, Miss Swanson was not one of them. Miss Swanson was shapely, fit, and cruel. She chose the “Thriller” dance as her contribution to an all-school assembly, but when it came time for our class to perform, she asked me to sit out. No, she told me to sit out. In front of everybody, she told me. She pointed to the side of the stage and said, “Lauren, just…just stand there in a zombie pose. I don’t want you knocking anyone over.”
So I stood there in a zombie pose, while the twelve-year-old me who liked to dance—even if I did suck—shriveled and shrunk and died a face-flaming death as Michael Jackson sang, “It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in the dark.”
It is time for evil to be trounced!
It is time for that twelve-year-old dancer to be reborn, and to say, “Nyah, nyah, nyah” to Miss Swanson.
It is time for me to face my fears.
Isn’t it time you faced yours?
To the thirteen of you I’ve challenged to participate in this Scare-A-Thon, the rules are simple:
1) choose a fear to face, and
2) face it.
Easy-peasy.
Oh, and face it in an internet-friendly, demonstrable way, please. Don’t think of it as me demanding proof; think of it, rather, as…a chance to strut your stuff.
Sincerely,
Lauren Myracle
Sub-clause 3b, section 4: wherein failure to receive demonstrable proof by midnight, October 31st, will result in the title Ms. or Mr. Wienie-Head for the rest of time, or at least until November 2nd.
Sub-clause 21aa: wherein all readers of this blog entry are welcome—nay, encouraged—to visit the websites of the 12 challengees and
Let the games begin!!!!
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